Baby Rex
by vanillafluffy
Summary: Chapter One: Grilled cheese, a fib and the consequences. Chapter Two: Tapioca, fingerpaints and a new skill. Chapter Three: Downfall of the invincible alien fighter, a day at the races and a night at the movies. COMPLETE
1. June's Great Idea

This story is a Christmas present for Dawnie-7, the best reviewer a feedback-hungry writer could have. Love, gratitude and lots of raisin-free tapioca! Chapters 2 & 3 will appear over the next two nights--enjoy!

Bah, humbug! -- I don't own any of it!

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**Chapter One  
June's Great Idea**

A sizzling sound came from the ironing board in the little apartment's kitchen. On the nearby counter, sat a bowl of chicken noodle soup, steam rising from it. Sam carefully turned off the iron and set the grilled cheese sandwich on a plate next to the soup.

"Dinner's ready, Joon," he said, cheerfully carrying the plate and bowl into the living room.

His girlfriend leaned forward and moved aside the tv tray covered with glue and sequins and other craft supplies and pulled an empty tray in front of her, ready to receive her meal.

"Are you feeling any better?" asked Sam as he set down the food.

"A little," said Joon, sniffling. "But I'll feel better after I've had some sustanence, I'm sure. I've got to, it's Tuesday night."

"Tuesday night?"

"My support group," she reminded him hoarsely, with a bright smile. She took a small bite of the sandwich, chewed, but had some difficulty getting it to go down.

"If your throat still hurts, you should stay home and take care of yourself. Or let me take care of you." He smiled shyly at her.

"Oh, but Sam," she wheedled, "I was supposed to bring refreshments! I made everything while you were at work, it's in the fridge and ready to go. All I have to do is get dressed, and--" She started to cough.

"No, sweetheart," said Sam, more firmly than usual, because after all, this was her health at sake! What would he do if anything happened to her? "You stay here and keep warm and rest. I'll take your stuff over there and let them know you've got a bad cold."

"As opposed to a wonderful cold?" she said with another sniffle and the grin that always made his toes curl.

Although it had been a long day at the video store, Sam knew that unless he delivered Joon's goodies to the ladies of the Tuesday Night Alliance, his darling would be worried and upset, and might even have one of her episodes. She hadn't had a really bad spell in quite a while--if he could prevent one by running a simple errand, it was worth postponing a look at the old Cary Grant movie he'd borrowed from the video store. He put on his coat and his top hat and headed out the door with a shopping bag full of plastic containers, with a kiss blown toward Joon, who was dipping the grilled cheese sandwich into her soup to soften it.

Joon waited until the sound of the old car Benny had found for Sam died away, then she brushed off the crumbs from her sandwich, moved the tv tray aside, and wandered into the kitchen for a box of crackers. She popped one into her mouth and crunched on it, taking the rest back to the living room to accompany her soup.

"Sometimes, I really do have some great ideas," she said aloud. Her voice sounded much more normal than it had while talking to Sam. "When he sees those adorable puppies, he won't be able to resist bringing one home. That way it'll be his idea, not mine."

Juniper Pearl grinned and finished the sandwich, thinking of the five sweet little boxer puppies that her friend Micki was harboring. Joon had spent the last couple support group meetings sitting on the floor being licked and nibbled by the enthusiastic mob, and folding almost every hand because playing with the pups had been more fun than the card game. Playing sick so that Sam would have to go in her place was inspired. She did have a teeny little sniffle, but wasn't nearly as sick as Sam thought.

Hmm, poor Sam didn't know what really went on at those meetings--the Tuesday Night Alliance was mostly the same girls as her Thursday afternoon group therapy session at the hospital, but a few of them had gotten into the habit of getting coffee or sodas after the official meetings and one thing had led to another. Not that they played for money, heavens no! It was like the poker game her brother and his friends held, where you bet...stuff. (Although remembering the best losing hand she'd ever had made her smile.)

"Maybe I should have warned him," she thought. No, of course, Sam wouldn't let himself get talked into playing cards...heck, the girls probably wouldn't want a guy around listening to them tell stories about guys--which was mostly what it was. They had a rule about not ever repeating anything that was said there, especially in front of their therapist at the Thursday sessions.

"He must be having an awfully difficult time picking out a puppy," she yawned a couple hours later. Sam hadn't come home yet, and it was late enough that Joon could admit that she was tired and sleepy. After all, she really did have a cold, and she'd worked hard on the refreshments for the "meeting".

Only the light over the sink brightened the apartment when Sam finally came in, carrying a squirming bundle and several items more than he had when he left. He stumbled into the kitchen, and carefully set the wriggling blanket on the floor while he placed the other bags on the counter. He looked anxiously at the surprise underfoot as he unloaded the plastic containers in the sink. What was Joon going to think?

Leaving a mess in the sink overnight was foreign to Sam's neatnik nature. He hastily began rinsing out the empty containers, all the while glancing down constantly to make sure that nothing bad was going to happen.

The sound of running water and the opening and closing of cabinet doors awoke Joon to the fact that her beloved was home. Too excited to wait another minute, she climbed out of bed and dashed out of the room. Sam was standing in the kitchen, a sheepish expression on his face. His brown eyes went darted to the floor, and back to her, and she knew what that meant.

With a squeal of delight, she rushed into the kitchen, then stopped short. "Sam!" she exclaimed in horror, "You were supposed to bring home a puppy, not a baby!"


	2. Rex Wrecks

**Chapter Two  
Rex Wrecks**

Rex was the perfect name for Allison's little monster, Juniper Pearl had decided by nine-thirty the following morning. Although Sam had hastily assured her that they only had to keep him until the Thursday meeting, that was a whole twenty-nine hours and forty-two minutes from now, and she already understood why her friend had gambled the baby.

He howled and threw things and broke things and unlike a puppy of a similar age, wasn't even house-broken yet. At least Micki's pups were almost paper-trained, and they were only three months old. Good grief, it was no wonder poor Allison had come down with post-partum depression. (On top of regular manic-depression, which was bad enough.)

Joon was trying to wipe up the remains of the bowl of tapioca she'd been trying to feed Rex, while he crawled around the kitchen. Apparently, the infant didn't care for tapioca. Still, there was no reason for him to fling it all over Sam's nice clean floor.

Okay, there had to be some way to keep it--him--amused. Think, Joon. Allison hadn't sent any toys--just the diaper bag with basic supplies and a couple changes of clothing.

Fingerpaints, she thought, inspired. That way, we can both do something artistic and it won't matter if he makes a mess.

Two chaotic hours later, Joon had changed her mind. There was fingerpaint everywhere--on her, on Rex, on the floor, the walls, the sofa--almost everywhere except the sheet of paper Rex was supposed to be painting.

As soon as she first dipped one of his baby hands in paint, he'd put the hand in his mouth, and spat the bright green paint out all over himself. She'd grabbed a damp paper towel to wash his face, and as she was doing that, he'd started crawling across the floor, leaving green handprints in his wake.

While she was wiping the handprints, he'd gone back to the paint and tossed the recycled frozen dinner tray across the room--now the kitchen was an abstract scene in red, yellow and green.

Sam was going to have a fit when he saw the now-multi-colored dishtowels. Joon got the paint cleaned up as best she could and tried to rinse the stained towels in the sink. Concentrating on that, she turned her back on Rex just long enough for him to crawl behind her.

When she took a step back, holding the towel up to see how much of the paint had come out, she tripped over him and fell flat on her back. Then she smelled it. Oh, marvelous, another odiferous diaper to deal with! In seconds, they were both sobbing.

"What in the world?" asked a woman's voice, and Joon looked up to see Ruthie, her neighbor and best girlfriend in the whole world. "Joon Pearl, where did you get that baby?" She swooped down and picked up the wailing Rex and tickled him into a sunny smile.

"He likes you!" Joon said, surprised. Her friendly landlady must have heard the commotion and used her key.

"Joon--who does he belong to?"

"My friend Allison. We're entertaining him until Thursday, but what I really wanted was a puppy." She blurted out the whole story as Ruthie expertly changed Rex. "How do you know how to do that, Ruthie? You don't have any babies."

"No, but I had four younger brothers and sisters."

With Ruthie to help, the next few hours didn't go too badly. Although it was noisy, banging on an old pot with a wooden spoon kept Rex happy for quite a while. Her friend was able to offer Joon advice about what would--and wouldn't--be a good idea to feed the infant, and gave her some tips on the best ways to take care of diapers and bath time.

At three o'clock, Ruthie had to go get ready for the dinner shift at the diner, but by then, Joon felt much more confident. After all, Sam would be coming home in a little over an hour, and Rex was napping, actually asleep and quiet and not moving. He'd fallen asleep on the area rug, hugging one of Joon's bunny slippers. Sam still had the infant seat strapped into his car, so she couldn't tuck Rex into that, but he seemed to be okay where he was.

Finally, she had some time to herself! Joon sat down in her favorite chair and began applying white glue and purple glitter to an old coffee can she'd painted pink. When the glitter dried, she had some lovely silver sequins to add to the project...a crash and shrill shreiking interrupted her as she planned sequin placement.

Rex was awake, and in her preoccupation with her work of art, she hadn't noticed him crawling toward the ironing board. Now, the iron lay on the kitchen floor, and the baby was red-faced and screaming.

Joon felt a wave of panic wash over her. The tv tray toppled over as she ran into the kitchen to see if the iron had actually struck him or just scared him. "Just scared him," she decided with relief a moment later, holding the squirming baby, who began to calm down as she hugged him. "That scared me, too," she said to him. "I'd be in so much trouble if anything happened to you."

Rex had his fist in his mouth again, and was looking back at her. His soft, curly hair was the color of corn silk and his eyes were big and blue. He was rather charming, now that he wasn't emitting an appalling amount of noise, soiling himself, or otherwise making a mess. In fact, the only mess in sight at the moment was the one Joon herself had made charging to the rescue.

Well, she knew better than to put him down to try to clean it up. Shifting him around experimentally, she discovered what women have known for ages--the ability to single-handedly do a task with a baby perched on one hip.

When Sam came in and looked at her anxiously, Joon smiled. The apartment was almost as clean as when he'd left that morning--and he was better at domestic stuff, anyway. The important thing was, little Rex was okay, Sam was home, and there were only twenty-one hours and sixteen minutes to go before Allison again took charge of her baby.


	3. Buster

**Chapter Three  
Buster**

Sam thought Mr. Griner deserved a "Boss of the Year" award or something. The owner of the video store had said okay when Sam asked permission for an extra-long lunch and okay when Sam hesitantly asked if it would be all right for him to bring a child into the store during the morning hours. Usually, before noon, most of the store's business was drop-offs anyway. Of course, Sam left out Rex's age and how he came to be visiting Sam and Joon. Mr. Griner thought the couple was doing a favor for friend of Joon's who had the flu--well, at least part of the story was true.

With one thing and another, it took longer than usual for Sam to complete his daily routine. While Sam vacuumed the aisles farthest from the counter, Rex pulled over a life-sized cardboard cutout of a spandex-wrapped action star toting two gigantic plasma cannons. Returning to the front of the store, Sam found his charge happily gnawing the star's silver-clad ankle.

"Nice going, Rex," he complimented the kid. "You just did what an alien army ten thousand strong failed to do. I'm impressed." The display had been looking a bit past its prime, anyway, and Sam figured when Rex was through teething on it, it could go out to the dumpster, no great loss.

Rex chuckled as Sam went through his Keaton routines. The baby was an undemanding audience; he watched the show, beat on the cutout with his chubby fists and gurgled gleefully. A couple regular customers came in with their tapes, most of them wondering if Sam was that adorable little baby's Daddy. He managed a smile at that; he could safely say without hesitation that he wasn't, just a helpful friend.

The hours from nine to one had never passed so slowly before; by now, the infant had chomped and slobbered his way up to the alien-fighter's knees. Usually, Sam had his lunch break at noon, but today he was going to give Rex to his mother before the support group met at two. He planned to leave at one, allowing time to get across town, but at ten minutes til, his replacement called, and claimed a dead battery.

Sam called Mr. Griner's cell phone, trying not to panic. What would happen if he was late getting Rex to Allison? She might get Joon into trouble with their therapist. No, she wouldn't do something like that, would she? She'd have to tell them about the poker game, and that wouldn't look good for her, either. "I'm supposed to have Rex home before two, and Cathy just called and said her battery is dead, what should I do?" he asked his boss.

"Don't worry, I'm in my car, I'll be there in a few minutes. I can handle things while you do what you have to."

It was twenty-five minutes past one before Sam finally strapped the baby into his car seat. He took a quick inventory. Diaper bag, check, stock pot and spoon, check, enough gas to get us across town, uh-oh.

Getting gas took another twelve minutes. Sam was starting to see little spots in his vison and reminded himself to breathe. When he did, he realized Rex needed a fresh diaper. He couldn't hand over the kid the way he was. Phew, Sam couldn't even stand to be in the same car with him in that condition. Cleaning and changing and dressing Rex ate up more precious time.

Sam was a careful driver, which was good for getting somewhere in one piece, but not so good for getting there quickly. He missed every single traffic light and arrived at a railroad crossing just as the gate came down. It was long train--a very long train.

By the time he arrived at the hospital, it was well after two o'clock, and the therapy session had already started. He waited in the reception area playing peek-a-boo with Rex, and managed a quick call to the store. Cathy had gotten a ride in to work; Sam could take the rest of the afternoon off, since his shift was over at four anyway.

At ten minutes before three, the door to the therapy room opened, and the group members began emerging. Nobody seemed upset; one or two of the ladies he'd met on Tuesday greeted him and cooed over Rex--but there was still no sign of Allison, or Joon.

When Sam ventured to the door of the inner sanctum, he saw Allison wiping her eyes with a piece of tissue, and a woman he guessed was their therapist was patting her shoulder. Joon was standing nearby holding the box of tissues, and she was the first one to notice him. "There they are!" she caroled, and Allison's head whipped around.

"Oh, thank goodness!" She hurried over and swept Rex out of Sam's arms. "Oh, sweetheart!" she crooned to the baby. "I missed you so much!" Her voice dwindled into little murmurs, and Rex laughed and pulled her hair. She accepted the diaper bag without even looking at Sam; all her attention was on her son.

"Come on, Sam," said Joon. "I promised Micki we'd give her a ride."

"Bye, Rex," Sam said over his shoulder as Joon took his hand and led him out of the room

"Joon, I think you'd better just tell him," Micki said a little while later as they drove her homeward.

"Tell me what?" Sam asked uneasily.

"I want a puppy," said Joon. "I think canine companionship would admirably enhance our domestic situation. Can we get one of Micki's boxer puppies? Please? I was hoping you'd bring a puppy home with you on Tuesday, but you brought Rex instead."

"I guess so," Sam answered, thinking about it. "There's nothing against it in our lease."

"What are we going to call him?" Sam asked Joon an hour later as they took the newest member of their household home.

"I thought Buster would be an appropriate name," she said, as the puppy licked the strap of her crash helmet. "And see, he even looks like the dog from the Buster Brown shoe ads!"

Sam knew that wasn't the only reason Joon liked the name Buster. "Can we have a nice, quiet evening at home tonight, and maybe watch that movie I brought home two days ago?" he asked hopefully.

"A nice quiet evening at home with our faithful canine companion!" Joon declared, stroking the wrinkles on the puppy's velvety forehead. "What cinematic triumph of the silver screen are we going to be viewing?"

"An old movie with Cary Grant," Sam told her. "It's called 'Bringing Up Baby'."

**The End.**


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